A beautiful mess

And our baby girls name is...

2010-03-04T05:00:00.001-08:00

Blaire Kendall! So relieved and happy to have her name! :)

Another little girl on the way!

2010-03-01T06:33:00.000-08:00

We are so excited to be having a little sister for Kennedy!

At the beginning of my pregnancy I thought for sure I was having a boy, but a few weeks before my ultrasound I started thinking I was having a girl...and I was right!

Now all we have to do is come up with a name which is proving super hard this time. I've went through my 5000+ baby name book 7 times already and have searched and searched the internet. I know I have 4 months...but I'm a planner, and I needed to have a name last week! Wish me luck on my hunt...

To the doctor

2010-02-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

I went...and found out that I have a sinus infection. I can't even explain how terrible I feel now. My throat literally feels like it's on fire. I am so ready to start feeling better. My dr prescribed me a z-pack so if I don't feel better in a week from taking it, I'll have to get another weeks worth. I haven't been able to sleep the last four nights without waking up every hour...I toss and turn and can't breathe out of my nose.

I was never sick during my pregnancy with Kennedy and can't remember the last time I was sick actually. I'm normally a very healthy person but I hate the way I feel right now. Thankfully, Kennedy has been a perfect angel for me the last few days and I haven't had to run around chasing her. Maybe she realizes that I'm not feeling well, she even went to bed at 6:30 today...I'm hoping that's because she didn't nap today and not because she is also getting sick. I can't imagine having only a week in between the time she was sick and when she gets sick again.

Here's hoping that I start feeling better ASAP, there are so many things I need to do...and that I get a decent nights sleep...I REALLY need it

We're a bunch of sickies

2010-02-01T06:34:00.000-08:00

I always tell myself that I need to start getting better at updating this blog...then a million things happen and it doesn't even cross my mind. Now that my house is clean, laundry is done and I don't really have anything else to do I figured I can get back to it.

This last week has been crazy. Kennedy started to get a fever the Sunday before last but we figured it was just from teething because her molars look so swollen. The next morning she woke up with a fever of 102.4 and it just kept climbing throughout the day even with medicine. She was so lethargic and wouldn't even move. She wouldn't eat or drink, which is so unlike her. Mike still thought it was teething, but I disagreed and took her to the doctor. I didn't see my normal pedi but a nurse practitioner (I didn't know this at the time) The NP checked Kennedys ears and throat and said they were both clean of any infection. She then said it was probably a viral thing and would just go away with medicine and time. She asked my pedi to come in at the end of the appointment just to double check and I'm glad she did. My pedi at once asked if I was pregnant and said that Kennedy most likely had parvovirus b-19 or fifths disease. She said that 50% of people get it and it wouldn't do anything to harm Kennedy...it would also go away with medicine and time. The symptoms of fifth disease are slapped red cheeks, a high fever and a lacy rash...Kennedy had all of the above but my pedi said that once she got it, she would never get it again. Just to be sure, she also wanted to check Kennedy for a urinary track infection because it can also cause the symptoms she had.

Since there is no way to make a baby pee in a cup to collect their urine, they had to tape this bag to her private parts to collect it. The NP told me the worst part was taking it off...and great I had that job once we got home. They put her diaper back and on gave me a cup to put her urine into after it collected in the bag. I don't know who came up with this invention but let me just say it flat out sucks. As soon as I got home and checked her bag, it was halfway off of her and all of her urine collected in her diaper. I called the dr's office and a nurse told us to go to statcare and that they could give us another bag. We decided instead of making four trips by bringing her home and back after she went to the bathroom, that we would just wait in the waiting room until she went to make it easier. We were there three and a half hours and she wouldn't drink anything. My in-laws even brought popsicles and she wouldn't touch them. A woman came out to let us know that if we admitted Ken they could give her a catheter and it would be over in a few minutes. This is the LAST thing I wanted to do because I know how painful they can be...so we decided to wait another half an hour to see if she would go on her own before we would admit her.

Well, of course, a half an hour went by and we made no progress so we took her back to get a cath. This was one of the worst experiences of all three of our lives (Kennedy, Mike and I) It took the nurse WAY WAY WAY too many tries to cath her...and as soon as we were about to say something, she got it in. Mike and I were both fuming and I wanted to leave right then and there. I felt so bad we made her go through it when...yep, she didn't have a UTI...but at the same time we really needed to know because she would have needed more medical attention if she had a UTI instead of fifths disease. Also while we were the there the dr told us that she looked like she had classic fifths disease, so at least we knew what she had.

I called my OB the next day because fifths disease can cause complications in pregnancy...they had me come in for blood work and my NP explained to me that if I've had it any other time in my life, the blood work would show it and that I wouldn't have to worry about a thing. She said that if I didn't have it then I would need to come back in a month and have my blood retaken. We would need to see if I got it from Kennedy since the symptoms in adults and children are different. IF I do have it then I would have to get weekly ultrasounds until the baby is born....fifths disease causes anemia in an unborn fetus and could possibly need a blood transfusion before he/she is born...but we're praying that it's not going to be needed...and ultimately that I've already had it sometime in my life and then we won't even need to think about it anymore.

The NP said it will take about 4-5 to get my results back so I'm just waiting, waiting waiting...and hoping for very good news.

Thursday Kennedy made a full recovery and has been feeling great ever since....I however on Saturday started to feel under the weather. It started out with a sore throat and progressively got to a severe sore throat, coughing, running/stuffy nose...Pretty much everything from the bottom of my neck up hurts. Every night has been challenging to sleep...not only am I uncomfortable because I'm pregnant....but now I can't breathe and can't swallow without cringing in pain. This morning my throat felt like it was on fire and still does. My nose is like a leaky faucet...sometimes runny and sometimes stuffy. I sound like a monster when I talk, no joke... and I'm scared to death of sneezing or coughing for fear of the pain.

I HATE being sick...I hate being sick while preggo and I REALLY hate when it interferes with my plans. I was so excited to take Kennedy swimming with her friends tomorrow but not only am I sick...but most of them are as well...If every one's feeling up to it, we may try again next week. I think it's just something going around in the air now...I can't wait for this cold/flu season to be over...and I really can't wait until it starts getting warm outside.

On a more positive note...I'm 18 weeks along now and in three weeks we will know if Kennedy will have a baby brother or a baby sister :)

Our house: Before & After

2010-01-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

Here's a link for photos of our before and after pictures of our house. We moved in the end of last January...so we've almost been here a year! Anyways...our house didn't exactly have to have a lot of work done to it, besides new carpet, lights and a good scrubbing, but we wanted to change it and make it our own. We painted every inch of this house...and it took forever. We had to get all the painting done before our carpet was installed...and before our carpet was installed we lived on the sub floor. This was not a fun almost 2 month of our lives because we had to wear our shoes EVERYWHERE...out of the shower, to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was nice though that Kennedy was only 4 months old and not mobile, so she spent her days in pack and plays, activity centers and high chairs. Getting these things done with a baby was hectic, but I'm glad we did it all then rather than now. She slept a lot more then and didn't get into things...I can't imagine doing all this stuff with her now!

Just an overview of what we did...downstairs we painted EVERYTHING...installed a new ceramic tile floor, got new carpet installed, new appliances, painted and added new hardware to our kitchen cabinets, removed the existing mantle and fireplace surround and added tile and a new mantle, we had to install lights pretty much everywhere because the previous owners took them, new toilet, vanity, mirror and light in the guest bath, oh and Mike and Denny replaced every single light outlet...we had almond, and I wanted white :) We plan on adding a tile back splash in the kitchen as well as replacing our old counter tops.

Upstairs we continued with the painting, carpet, outlets and lights. We filled in the doorway to our closet from the master bedroom and made a new doorway through our master bath. We also had to install new closet rods because they were taken as well. Kennedy was in the nursery for a while, but now that baby number 2 is on the way, we moved her to a new bedroom. Our room is done except for some decorations...we need to get some curtains, some things for the walls, a new bedspread etc. I'll post our final bedroom pics once we have all this done :)

Our next project will be the hallway/kids bathroom. I was able to get all the rust stains our of the bathtub after I scrubbed for 2 hours so we decided to keep it because it is very kid friendly. We need to replace the toilet and add the ceramic tile. We are going to keep the existing vanity, but paint it espresso bean and add new hardware. We're also going to get a new vanity top, faucet, mirror and lights...and then I'll have to find something to hang on the walls. I'm hoping we can get this project done before baby D is here.

Down the road we plan on gutting our bathroom. We want to get 2 new vanities, mirrors and lights. We'll also install ceramic tile and get a new toilet. We plan on making a completely tiled shower...although I am changing my mind a little and am wanting a soaking tub with a tile surround. We'll see what we decided after Mike and I talk about it.

Long term projects would be building a deck and putting up a fence. Mike wants to get the driveway done this year...and we need to so something about this landscaping because there is none! I would really like to get a little chair set with a table for our front porch...oh and we also need to get new outdoor lights for the entry way and garage.

So that's where we are for now...I will post as we finish more things...I'm just so happy to feel like we have made this house our home...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2004599&id=1569368582&l=4a3d4e7cdc

2009-11-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true. Miss Kennedy Reese will be a big sister on the 4th of July!

Happy Birthday

2009-10-01T05:32:00.000-07:00

This time last year I was laying in a hospital bed just waiting to be fully dilated so I could start to push...I was starving because I hadn't eaten since noon the day before. A little back round story...

September 30th, 2008: My due date, also my birthday. I spent the day cleaning our townhouse just in case Kennedy came that day. I wanted to be ready for her, but was feeling like my body wasn't going to go into labor. I wrote Kennedy an email willing her to come that day (I started writing to Kennedy when I was pregnant. I was going to write in a journal, but decided that I can get a lot more out when I type, so I decided to make her an email address. I wrote a lot when I was pregnant, and quite a bit now. I plan on continuing until she graduates high school or when she gets married/becomes pregnant I think it will be really nice for her read. I'm not sure how this will work for boys...I'm not sure they will care, but I'll do it anyways) Around 4ish I started to feel a little flutter in my stomach every two minutes or so...it wasn't painful, but I called my doctor's office anyways just to make sure. (I was actually kind of pressuring the nurse that I was speaking with to tell me that I was in labor...I figured since I would be induced two days later, they would just keep me tonight if I wasn't really in it. Not smart thinking) The nurse said she would recommend coming in. I don't know why I didn't call Michael to tell him, I think because it was so close to the time he was coming home, and I wanted to see his reaction when I told him we needed to go to the hospital. So he came home, I told him we needed to go, we got our bags together and headed out the door. (For those of you who know how big of a planner I am, you probably know that my bags were packed a month or so in advance)

On the way to the hospital, we counted my "stomach flutters" and they were about two or so minutes apart still. We checked into the hospital and they put me in a small room to monitor my contractions, if I was having any and to see if I was in labor. They checked me and I was two cm, which wasn't great news because that's what I was at the doctors office the day before. I called my parents to let them know even if I wasn't in labor and would be sent home, we still needed to cancel my birthday dinner plans because I would be at the hospital for a few hours. Mike left my birthday card in the car...he didn't plan on coming to the hospital that night and forgot it in the car during the rush of coming into the hospital. He ended up giving me a napkin with my birthday present written on it. It was for clothes as I lost weight from having Kennedy. His delivery wasn't the greatest...he wrote something like $80 for size 8, $100 for size 6, $150 for size 4 and $200 for size 2. I have never been a size 2! In his defense, I did have a couple pants from express that were a 2...but different clothing fit different ways, so I wouldn't consider myself that size. It also said on the bottom of the napkin that no changes could be made to it...but don't worry, it did.

I was laying in the bed and all of a sudden got the worst menstrual cramp ever. The doctor and nurse came into my room and asked if I had moved to my side. I told them that I didn't, but just a sharp pain...the beginning of my many painful contractions. They checked me again and I was 3 cm! (Which was a good thing because their computers were down and they could only take whoever was in actual labor...if I didn't progress, they would have definitely sent me home) They brought me to the room I would stay and deliver in. I really like that about Aultman...you stay in one room the entire time, and your baby never leaves...well, only to get tests done. You can request to let your baby stay in the nursery, but I really enjoyed her staying with us the entire time.

I got into my room, and the contractions were getting really painful. A few family members from both sides were there at that point...I felt a little awkward talking like normal, then clutching the bed and moaning because a contraction was coming on, then going back to talking like nothing ever happened. That ended soon enough though because the anesthesiologist came in to give me my epidural. I was scared to death and almost in tears. They had me lay on my side, but every one else I've talked to has sat up. I don't know if they had me that way because I wouldn't jerk as much? Anyways, I was laying down, my nurse was holding my hand, probably 8 inches from my face..and it was done. I felt so silly because I was so worried about nothing. My IV hurt pretty bad, my epidural didn't hurt at all. After it set in it was the weirdest feeling. I couldn't move my legs at all, and could barely feel when I touched them. Every so often my epidural would start wearing off, so they would just give me another dose. They broke my water, and I was progressing pretty quickly. The nurses thought I may have been able to have her on my birthday, but 12am rolled around and that didn't happen. They told me to get rest because I would need it, but I don't know of any expecting mother who can sleep in the hospital waiting for the arrival for their baby.

The next morning we just played the waiting game. My parents, sister's and Michael's parents were there. The nurse came into check me again and said that it wouldn't be long. I was 9cm, but had a little anterior lip. An anterior cervical lip happens when the presenting part is not positioned correctly on the cervix, causing unequal pressure that results in unequal dilation. So, they recommended waiting a little while to see if that would change. Shortly after they checked me, I started to feel like my epidural was wearing off. The nurse told me that I shouldn't get another dose only because I might not be able to push the correct way. I listened to her, and believe me, next time I will not! I started to feel the urge to push, and they let me try. It was only the nurse on my left and Michael on my right. He asked the nurse where the doctor was, and she said that only when I began to crown would the doctor come in. She told us it was not like the movies and T.V. shows. I felt like I pushed forever. I could tell Michael was getting excited because he could see the progress I was making, I unfortunately could not and was getting tired of it. During the pushing, I told Mike that I was able to spend how much ever on whatever size for my birthday present and he agreed. He better have!

I began crowning and the doctor came in. I felt like I pushed forever, but it only ended up being a little over an hour. My epidural was completely gone and I could feel everything...it was literally the worst pain I have ever felt, but a pain that you quickly forget about. I felt so hot so they put a towel on my head, and my nurse was constantly feeding me ice chips. It's so crazy how much you have to push. When you have a contraction they want you to push 3 times for 10 seconds each...that's 30 seconds of straight pushing when you're hot, tired and in tons of pain. I felt like there was no end in sight, but at 11:05 it was there. They put Kennedy right on my chest and I just bawled my eyes out. I remember Mike asking if it was ok for him to take pictures and he just snapped away. I wish I would have looked at him when she was being born to see his reaction. Kennedy came out in the posterior position which means she was facing up instead of down. This happens in only 5-12% of delivery's. She had a scratch on her face from her fingernail because her hand was against her face during delivery.

I couldn't believe she was actually here! So many things ran through my mind as she was laying on me. I just cried and cried, but she didn't. I was a little worried, but knew that she would be taken care of. They took her off of me to clean her up and check on her. She and I both had fevers...I remember laying there shivering and shaking because I felt so cold, and hoping that she wasn't feeling how I did. She finally cried and I was over joyed.

My original plan was to just spend time as a family before anyone came to see her, but I knew how excited everyone was in the waiting room...so I told Mike to tell them they could come in for 5-10 minutes to see Kennedy. I'm glad I did...just the look on their faces was priceless. Everyone was so happy that she was finally here, and anxious to come back so they could hold her.

It was nice when everyone left and it was just the three of us. We purposely didn't tell most people that she had been born until a few hours later just so we could have some alone time. When I look back on our hospital stay and being there it just brings back so many great memories...although it was hard waking up with her almost every hour there, it was so amazing to finally have her outside of the womb.

I feel like this last year has just flown by. I cannot believe how big Kennedy is. I can barely remember what it was like when she was first born. I wish I could just rewind time, but it is exciting to see how she's growing and the things she can do now. I can't explain how much and the way I love her...if you're a mother than you can understand. Kennedy is my whole world...everything I do in my life now is for her. She truly is the love of my life.

Happy Birthday Kennedy Reese, you've turned my life upside down...in only the best ways...

Cornfest pictures

2009-08-19T14:25:00.001-07:00

On our way...so excited!

Jammin' to the music, shaking the rattle and eating her foot.

Down the slide with Daddy!

She REALLY likes to eat her feet :)
Kennedy and Grandma Sandy

Rawr

2009-08-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

I have a few free minutes to update about Miss. Kennedy Reese...as I am doing so she is growling, a new thing she has picked up that is hilarious.

In a week my little baby will be drinking whole milk! I'm so excited for this change...and the thought of no more formula stains on clothes makes my heart melt. I was only able to nurse Kennedy for 6 months...a lot shorter than I wanted to. I got a really bad cold, and when I should have been pumping to keep my supply up, I slept. You live and you learn. I know what to expect for next time and how to prepare myself. I do miss nursing, and really wish I could still be. But, there's always the next baby...and you better believe I won't be stopping at least until he/she is a year old! I seriously can't wait for this change of milk!!! Those of you who share my frustrations with formula stains know what I mean...all others, I don't blame you for thinking I'm a little crazy.

There will be another baby that will playing with Kennedy and Carter everyday. Not what you're thinking...not another baby Demetro, but baby Ella Pearl. Ella's parents are both teachers and I will be watching her Monday-Friday until the summer. I'm excited to have a little baby around...she's three months old and so tiny! I think she will get along with Carter and Kennedy great!

Time to go feed this hungry monster dinner...

My baby is taking steps!

2009-08-14T06:36:00.000-07:00

Yes, 6 steps to be exact. Yesterday, Carol and I were trying to pass Kennedy back and forth to see if she would walk to us, and she did! We couldn't believe it, and tried it many more times until she finally got tired of walking and collapsed to the ground. I can't even imagine her walking around this house! My little girl is growing up too fast! :/

If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you can see Kennedy's walking video there!

My boys are gone...

2009-08-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

Yes, we found new homes for both Duke and Diesel...Diesel is in Mogadore with two young boys to keep him super busy, and Duke is in Akron with a wonderful family full of dobermans... I'm not ready to talk about it, it's complicated...but just know it's in no way anything they did. I miss them more than words can even say. The entire feel of our home is so different...I'm greeted by silence when I walk through the door instead of happy puppies excited to see me. I still don't feel like it's real yet...My heart literally breaks every time I think of them and that they aren't here anymore.

Once I'm able to think about them without bawling my eyes out, I'm going to go for a visit. Both new owners have been so kind updating me on their progress and even sending me pictures. I thank God for that, because that's the one thing getting me through all of this. I know when I see them, I will probably cry...hoping I don't make their new parents too uncomfortable by doing that, but I'm sure they will understand. Carol and Steph will probably go with me for moral support and because they really want to see them too. I know they are also so sad to see them gone. I am especially sad for Kennedy. She loved them so much...and it hurts so much to know that she won't ever be able to play with them again.

Until then, I will just be praying for strength to get through it...I know someday it won't hurt so much to think about them...and I can't wait until that day.

What's been going on

2009-07-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

Nothing too exciting has been going on lately with us...Oh- Michael's surprise party was a huge success, and our first floor is definitely coming along and almost done...other than that we've really just been living life...

Michael's making fun of me because I've already started planning things for Kennedy's 1st birthday party, but for those who know me, know I'm a major planner when it comes to things important to me. We will have the driveway poured by then, so I think we'll probably do the party outside. I have invites I think I'm probably going to order, but now am thinking that it would be really cool to make my own. Trouble is, I have no idea how to do that. When I was yearbook editor, we had this amazing program that would be perfect to use...but I don't have that program anymore. I will continue to play around for the next few weeks...I have a deadline though, I can't wait too long to order them or they won't be here in time. I think there is a class at Stark State I can take in photoshop (I could make the card in there) but it's a little too late to take it just so I know how to create designs. I have tons of ideas running through my head about decorations...I can't decide on colors I love yet, but I still have time for that. I know once Michael (and probably a few others) see what I have planned, he will probably tell me I'm going overboard..but hey she's my only child, she's turning 1 and that's a huge deal to me. I can't believe she will be 1 in less than 3 months. Where has the time gone :(

I'm also planning on ordering her a Hanbok, a traditional Korean dress. Most babies wear them at their 100 day celebration, but Kennedy will wear hers for her 1st birthday. I don't know that she will wear it for the whole party, but at least a little while. My culture is very important to me, and I want to incorporate it into Kennedy's life any way that I can.

Ooh, Kennedy will be having a friend come over 3 times a week soon. My friend Sarah is going back to work, so I will be watching her son Carter. You all know how much of a happy/easy baby Kennedy is, well Carter is the same, which makes watching them a breeze. It's nice that they are close in age so they can play with each other. I'm kind of testing the water, seeing how difficult it will be with 2 babies...it might make my decision on when we want to start trying for another...but the second baby will probably be mad and fussy all the time knowing my luck ;) but either way I would just be happy to have a little brother/sister for Kennedy.

Speaking of Kennedy, I need to get her dressed and ready to go to the Corn Fest in Strasburg tonight. Last year she went (in the womb) this year, she'll be able to see what's going on and not just hear it. :) I'll have to remember to take my camera. This will be Kennedy's first outing to a fair/food festival kind of thing. Will post pictures later!

Beautiful baby

2009-05-22T08:54:00.001-07:00

Because of the hustle and bustle of everday life with Kennedy, sometimes I forget how beautiful she really is...today I took some pictures that reminded me.

Mommy Meet-Up

2009-05-21T13:30:00.001-07:00

So we had our first mommy meet-up play date today. (Local mom's group that is just starting up) We went to the McKinnley park to walk, then hung out by the swings. It was a hot, but fun day. Kennedy crashed before we got back to the car.

Future olympic swimmer

2009-04-28T19:27:00.000-07:00

Kennedy went swimming for her first time at her friend Kana's 1st birthday party. Since she has not been loving baths lately, I was worried how she would do in the water. I braced myself for screaming as soon as we got in the pool, but to my surprise, Kennedy didn't mind the water. Occasionally she would start making some noises, but never a cry...Mike and a few others pressured me into putting her under the water. At first, I couldn't do it. I had to be ready to do it in my own time. I know that it is fine for her to go under...I just was nervous to. Finally, after getting more comfortable in the water with her, I decided to try. I blew in her face, and put her under. She came out with the funniest look on her face, and surprise again, no crying. She was fine with going under water. So fine, that we tried it several more times. I'm so happy that she had a good time, and I know Mike is too. (His parents are very over protective, so he never learned how to swim...so he wants to make sure Kennedy knows how, and is also not afraid of the water like he is) I think we're also going to put her in infant swimming classes at the Y soon...just to get her more familiar with the water...

floating

trying to swim and catch the duck

going underwater

tired after swimming

Oh, and she's beginning to sit up on her own! Today at Aultman, while I was at mother's connection...she was sitting up completely by herself. Every so often she would wobble to one side..but for the most part, she's there. This will make my life so much easier...that is until she starts to crawl...then I can see it getting harder.

The house is coming along...I spent yesterday and today painting the window in our computer room, dining room and living room. Also, the trim throughout our dining room and hallway. I think I have one more coat of paint for the mantel, then we'll be able to put it up...since I just finished painting the wall that it will be going on. Tonight, Mike also painted the laundry room, so tomorrow my job will be to edge that room...(He's only good with a roller) The sooner we get the painting done, the sooner we can start tiling. I think it will make a big difference in our house. Especially because then we will have a new vessel sink vanity and toilet in our guest bath. And then, after all of that....deck construction will begin!

Ferber method = heartbreak

2009-03-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

A couple nights ago, I posted on my facebook that I hoped Kennedy would sleep through the night. Well, I got a message from a girl that I used to go to school with saying that she did the Ferber method with her daughter, and now she sleeps through the night and takes 2, 2 hour naps during the day. This got me excited, because Kennedy hasn't slept through the night since we moved to our new house...which has been a little over 2 months...and I'm getting exhausted.

A little info on the Ferber method: By no means does this mean letting your baby cry all night without checking up on him/her...what you're supposed to do is lay your baby in their crib when they are sleepy but still awake. You're supposed to leave the room even if your baby cries, and come back to see them in intervals. First 5 minutes, then 10, then 15..and if your baby is still crying after that, keep with the 15 minute check ups. When you check up on your baby, you're not supposed to rock or cuddle them...just let them know that they are ok...basically the whole point of this is to get your baby used to being able to fall asleep on their own...without having to be cuddled or rocked to sleep first before you put them in their crib...and hopefully to have them sleeping through the night...

I also talked to a friend of mine later on that said she and her husband tried this when their daughter was 9 months old, and wish they would have done it much sooner...she did tell me though, that it probably won't work until I'm really ready, because you pretty much have to be strict with this in order for it to work.

So...it's around 8:30ish and I say to myself...Ok, I'm going to change Kennedy's diaper, feed her, then put her to bed...So I did just that, and of course she cried. She has never went to sleep on her own in her crib. She always has to be put to sleep first, then transferred into her crib. And that is exactly why I wanted to try this. So I gave her a kiss and left the room...then found myself frantically searching for headphones in all of the boxes we have lying around because I can't take hearing her cry. Mike said to me, "Don't act like this is hurting you or anything." And I fired back that it does indeed hurt me, a lot...I can't bear to hear her cry. Finally, in the dining room I found headphones and plugged them into the computer. I told Mike that in five minutes he should go check on her...and I watched the clock. Five minutes went by and he went upstairs...Meanwhile, a commercial came onto the radio station I was listening to, and there were parts that were very quiet. Quiet enough for me to hear that Kennedy wasn't crying anymore, she was screaming. I tried to tune it out as best as I could, then thankfully the music started to play again. But the music didn't stop the tears from coming, I felt so terrible, like she's thinking, "I just want to be around you...why are you leaving me here to cry?" 10 minutes went by, and I sent Mike up to check on her again, she was still screaming. I then set the clock for 15 minutes, but a few minutes later, Mike tapped me and said he thought she had stopped...I took off my headphones and headed upstairs to see if she did.

I tiptoed into her room to find her sniffling. You know after you've been crying how you breathe funny. ((By the way Duke was sleeping in her room, and he always sleeps with us. I think maybe he sensed he should be in there with her or something)). I was about to leave when all of a sudden she started to scream again. I couldn't bear to leave now. I realized that I wasn't ready for this, it was just too hard. My heart felt like it was literally breaking. So I scooped her up in my arms, and instantly started to cry just as much as she telling her that I was sorry...I sat down in the rocking chair and she just stared at me and smiled. For 10 minutes she looked at nothing but right into my eyes...and it made me realize, this ferber method isn't going to hurt Kennedy, she's not going to resent me for doing this...she'll love me unconditionally. But I did realize that I'm just not ready for it...and I don't know that I'll ever be.

I guess getting up 4 times a night is not to terrible...check back in a few months though...sleep deprivation is not a fun thing....maybe by then she will be ferbitized...haha

Why don't friends with kids have time?

2009-03-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

A good friend of mine forwarded this funny advice column to me...read and enjoy...

Dear Carolyn:

Best friend has child. Her: exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, ect.

Me (no kids): What did you do today? Her: Park, play group...

Ok, I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay at home moms do all day? Please no list of library, grocery store, dry cleaners...I do all those things too. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day and why don't moms have time for a call or email. I work and am away from home nine hours of the day (plus a few late work events); I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like kids is an excuse to relax and enjoy, but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth? Is this a contest ("that my life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids and all us child-free folks have the same question. -Tacoma, Washington

Dear Tacoma, (Or every other man apart of an email group that thinks this same silly silly thing)

Relax and enjoy. You're funny. Or, you're lying about having friends with kids.

Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.

I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand, while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom-friends are either lying to competing with you, is disingenuous indeed.

So because it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them our of bed, fed, cleaned, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coo's, cried, questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys, and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared essential piece of molded plastic gear, to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any of which produces checkout line screaming. It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.

It's constant valiance. constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation's of your needs to become second tier.

It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family and friends. It's resisting constant temptation to seek short-term relief at every one's long-term expense.

It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything-language. manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. everything.

It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spend all day, everyday, with this brand of joy and then, when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend/partner, a good friend/partner wouldn't judge you, complain about you or marvel how much more productively she/he uses her time. Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

Yes, keep it to yourself...because we don't want to hear it!!!

ROLLING OVER!!!

2009-03-18T05:36:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I went into the living room and found Kennedy on her stomach! She rolled over, and without me :( but soon after, I was able to get her rolling over on video...she's growing up way too fast...

Later on, we went to Kennedy's friend Carter's house for a St. Patty's day playdate...Everyone was playing around, all dressed in green...It was so nice outside we were able to go on a walk down to Meyers Lake...I hope it's like that today so we can go on another walk!

While Michael went to home depot, I stopped over to my parents...(I should back up for a second...today was Kennedy's first day eating prunes...you can probably imagine what's coming up next) My dad was holding Kennedy and jumped up screaming "Ewww...she pooped on my pants!" (I really don't even think it was poop...it literally just looked like the prunes she ate) I changed Kennedy and my dad changed his pants...Not even 10 minutes later, my dad jumped up screaming again..."Ugh, she threw up all over me!" Kennedy spit all over herself and my dads legs...I took her and wiped her down...and guess what my dad did....he took a shower! For a little spit up on his leg, he took a shower...Mind you, he already had one earlier that evening. He's nuts...

Dropping lbs

2009-03-16T15:15:00.000-07:00

So it's been a little over five months since the beautiful Kennedy has arrived...and I have lost about 30 lbs so far...but I still have 25 more to go...I feel like this is going to be impossible..but today starts my calorie counting/eating healthy/hopefully losing weight plan...I know exactly what I need to do to loose the weight, but have been slacking big time...I don't expect to loose it all instantly, but I really hope I can at least get down to my pre-pregnancy size...I have so many boxes of clothes that I can't wear until I get there...so not only will I be loosing weight, I'll be saving money because I won't have to buy more clothing to fit my bigger size haha... Also, now that it's getting warmer, I hope to be able to start running again...I remember this time 2 years ago I could run and run and run...I will probably kill myself huffing and puffing along now :) Cross your fingers for me, and if you see me eating something I shouldn't, keep me accountable!!!

Saturday

2009-03-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

In the morning I got all of Kennedy's baby food made...took only a couple of hours but we made peas, green beans, prunes, pears, sweet potatoes and carrots. Pears are her new favorite..

Michael's brothers and sister came to help us move in the rest of our things to the house from the garage...now it's finally cleared out and yesterday Michael and my dad set up our garage door opener so I can park in there now...woohoo! I'm so happy to finally be in the garage. We've still got some unpacking, rearranging and touch up painting to do...not looking forward to that..I can't wait until most of the things are done so I can just sit and relax and not have my mind full with so many house issues. ( We have a list of 30 or so things we still need to do, so that might take a while)

Matthew 20:1-16 The workers in the vineyard
We learned about this parable on Sunday and it was so interesting to get into what the story really meant...Basically the story goes that the master of this vineyard grumbled went to the marketplace to hire men to work in his vineyard. He went out the first hour and told the men that he would pay them a denarius for their work that day. He then went out the third, sixth and ninth hour and to those men he said he would pay them whatever was right...then at the eleventh hour, one hour before the work day was over, the vineyard master went back to the marketplace and asked the men why they were just standing around. They told them that no one would hire them, so he said if they worked in his vineyard he would also pay them what was right. At the end of the day the master of the vineyard told his steward to call the men so that he could pay them...Instead of paying the men who worked the most hours first, he payed the men who had only been working one hour first, and he payed all of the men the same amount, one denarius. The men who worked all day grumbled because they didn't think it was fair that the men who only worked an hour got paid the same amount as they did. But the master told them that they agreed to work for one denarius and he could do whatever he wanted with his money.

Money is not what this story is about though..it's about grace...the Master went back several times to see if there were anyone else who needed work, even at the last hour he went. And John was right on when he said it's almost like Church. Those of us who have been Christians maybe all or most of our lives sometimes think we are better Christians than those who just come to God...and we judge others, when in fact we should be embracing others...not caring what their back round is, what race they are, what things they might have done in their past, because God died for all of our sins...

There was also a story told about a prostitute who started "renting" her toddler out because she made more money in one day doing that, then working herself for an hour. When asked if she ever thought about going to Church for help, she was shocked..thinking that people at Church wouldn't help her because of what she was...and the point was made that when Jesus was around, women of the night flocked to Jesus, to help them and to pray with them...now the Church and Christians are known for so many things they shouldn't be known for, that people think they will just judge and close the door. The top 3 things Christians are known for are hating homosexuals, being judgemental and hypocritical. I could get into that so much more on another day, but isn't that sad? I hope and pray that the Church can become a different place, a place that welcomes everyone, no matter their past or who they are. And that will start with you and with me...I say we should give it a shot...don't you?

house becoming a home

2009-03-13T11:53:00.000-07:00

Just got done feeding Kennedy oatmeal and bananas...she loved it :) Now she is sitting quietly in her highchair playing with her bumblebee toy...I think it's going to be a good day...

The new house is coming along...just got carpet on Monday, which made a HUGE difference. I have Kennedy's room pretty much all set up...except for some touch up painting...actually I have touch up painting around the whole house...I don't even want to think about it because I am so sick of it!!! We got all of the tile up surrounding the fireplace, and I think Michael is going to work on getting the mantel up tonight...We're going to wait until April to do the ceramic tile on the floors, because we don't want to have to take out a home equity loan...so by April we should have enough put aside for the them...I can't wait! It will make the house feel so different because it's just a plywood floor now. After the floor gets put in, I think we'll start working on the guest bath, since that's the one everyone will see, then later on, as money permits do our other bathrooms upstairs... from then on it will just be little things like decorating and such...and long term will be the deck, driveway and fence. I still can't believe we're out of the tiny townhouse and into a house that I really love. I'm so happy that we waited for something that we really loved, and didn't settle for whatever came up. God truly blessed us with finding this home.